Lyrics
Denial, USA
(Magnuson)
I have made the journey, but the route was kind of weird
I started out in Anger, and then drove straight to Fear
Then I spent time in Remorse where all I did was cry
And now I'm in Denial and I'll be here till I die
I was on a road, but I must have lost my way
Now all's I know's I'm stranded here
In Denial, USA
Denial's supposed to be a brief stop along the path
You walk to turn your tears of pain and sorrow into laughs
It's just some place you pass through before your journey’s end
It's not supposed to be the state you finally end up in
It feels like freedom here, but I know what the real truth isDenial is a prison with lots of acreage
I'm free to meander, but if I go too far
I stub my toe and bump my head into the prison bars
Suit of Steel
(Magnuson)
I wear adulthood like a suit of steel
Making money, contacts, business deals
But now that suit of steel's stuck to my skin
So focused on the end that I don't know how to begin
The ladder of success, at least the one
That I'm on has lots of broken rungs
And it just leads up to another tier
That probably ain't much better than the one I'm on right here
A month or two ago, I think I smiled
It was dark and I was all alone
If I don't get in touch at once with my inner child
I'll have to get my lawyer on the phone
How I used to treasure Saturdays
So sunny even when the skies were gray
But more and more, it's just a block of hours
Set aside for washing clothes and watering the flowers
I Could Tell A Lie To Anyone
(Magnuson)
If somebody kidnapped me, attacked me with a knife
I would tell a lie to save my life
And if most other options seemed to lead to Hell below
I would tell a lie to save my soul
I am no more honorable than all the rest of 'em
I can tell a lie with the best of 'em
Little child, dear mother, companion, kindly nun
I could tell a lie to anyone
Without any prodding, reason, need, or cause
I could tell a lie … well, just because
To ward off unpleasant thoughts wherever they may start
I would tell a lie to my own heart
To pin a crime on someone else, be it the first or last resort
I would tell a lie in any court
Spread mistruth and never worry once 'bout getting caught
I could tell a lie without a thought
I'm so proud of you for turning over a new leaf
(I could tell a lie right through my teeth)
I feel your pain and if you wanna talk, why I'm all ears
(I could tell a lie and cry fake tears)If it becomes clear that it will save me from some this or that
I would tell a lie in no time flat
The saints would have you think that guilty conscience will consume
But I could tell a lie and sleep till noon
I’d Wreck Their Marriage (If I Could)
(Magnuson)
I just found out the one I love
Is married and has been for monthsThere go my dreams up in a puff
If I thought I could, I’d wreck their love
I’d have no qualms, I’d butt right in
His heart would break, her hand, I’d win
But I’m too tame to be no good
I’d wreck their marriage if I could
I wouldn’t care that he might cry
Or have a go at suicide
I’d stand real proud where he once stood
I’d wreck their marriage if I could
She’s heaven-sent, but heaven got
The address wrong, so I am not
Inside her heart where I should be
I’d be the other man if I could be
If she were mine, this vacant space
Inside my soul would be replaced
By what I’m always dreaming of
If I could only wreck their love
I'd Like To Think So
(Magnuson)
I wonder if you're faithful when you're gone
My guess is you are until a good thing comes along
Still you try to convince me you're mine and mine alone
Believe me, dear. I'd like to think so.
You flash those puppy eyes and pout your lip
And tell me that the condom in your suitcase is a gift
For me, but I got clipped and snipped two years ago, you know
A gift? For me? Oh, dear. I'd like to think so...
I'd like to think that you're not telling lies
I'd like to think that those are your true colors in your eyes
I'd like to think you're not bending the facts
But I don't think I can think now. I can only act...
Will you find it's not so easy to forget?
Will you think back to what we had and cry tears of regret?
Will you drown in an icy pool of pain a
Gonna Get Going
(Magnuson)
Like the hair on the head of a corpse
My love kept on growing long after divorce
And just like the hair on the pillow right next to its head
One day you fell out of love, and I wished I was dead
You’re gone, you’re gone
You’re gone and now I think
I’m gonna get going too
Like the dead man’s wedding ring
That he wears long after the congregation sings
One day you slipped off, next thing I knew you were gone
Things had decayed so that you could no longer stay on
Like the good suit in which he is dressed
That his son had cleaned, disinfected, and pressed
Whether I’m dressed to kill, or dying to wear
Where I’m going there ain’t nobody to notice or care
You’re In This Mess The Same As Me
(Magnuson)
You're in this mess the same as me
Another mess that ain't so fine
And this is how it is and it will be
Either we walk on or stay behind
All the pain you make for me
Cancels out the hell I put you through
You're in this mess the same as me
You blame me and I blame you
The hour now is well within
The cage of hands and numbers on the wall
Patiently, I'm waiting on
The hour that will reach us after all
Till then I hope that I don't kill
And I pray death sets me free
But if blood begins to spill
Remember, you're in this the same as me
A Stranger’s Just A Friend I’ll Never Meet
(Magnuson)
You're all out there experiencing things like I do
It's pretty much the same old stuff we all go through
And yet your shoes still seem like they could never fit my feet
A stranger's just a friend I'll never meet
Just like me, you feel the pain when others do you wrong
From time to time, you simply feel you don't belong
And if somebody stabs you, just like me, I know you'll bleed
And yet, a stranger's just a friend I'll never meet
I see strangers walking everywhere and all the time
And all I do is look for walls that I can hide behind
The chasm spread between you all and me is wide and deep
A stranger's just a friend I'll never meet
It's not a knock against you or a verdict handed down
There are just obstructions I can't find my way around
Oh, the lengths I go to, to avoid the need to greet
A stranger's just a friend I'll never meet
Sometimes a stranger's just a piece of furniture that moves
Other times, a person to whom I have things to prove
Strangers treat me when I'm ill, prepare the food I eat
And still a stranger's just a friend I'll never meet
Just Dumb Enough For Mine
(Magnuson)
I hope you have yourself a happy life
Doing what you want and getting comfort from your wife
The life of every party, you’re gonna die someday
Lots of us will come and drink a beverage at your wake
In the dark, you look good
In the light, you look less than fine
You're too smart for your own good
Thank goodness, I’m just dumb enough for mine
Your soul will fall to Earth one of these days
Star light, star bright, star decay and waste away
Once I thought you looked down at me from way up on high
But all you ever were is just a light up in the sky
I’ll miss you, but that’s ‘cause my aim is bad
I used to think you were the best friend I ever had
But right now I can’t stand the thought of a you and me
So here I am, just cherishing my own stupidity
Less Than The Least You Can Do
(Magnuson)
You found the way that works the best for you
You do even less than the least that you can do
You're always so delighted with yourself
And your complete disdain for everybody else
You could charm the pants right off my wife
You could even charm the shroud right off of Jesus Christ
And I know you know you manipulate
Your friends and their feelings, and you toy with fate
The only things you do
Are things that pleasure you
Everyone can rot in hell, I guess
You don't even do
The least that you can do
Somehow you even manage to do less
Hell is gonna freeze before I hear
You ever say an honest word directly to my ear
I always hear your words from someone who
Heard about them from someone that you once told them to
Another Pair of Shoes
(Magnuson)
Another pair of shoes that ain’t got no sole
Just like their wearer
Another case of blues grown so old
Ferment into terror
Another fire doused by alcohol
Char-black possessions
Traded in my house for the hospital
Treat for depression
Another doctor says, “Nothing wrong with you”
Testing patience
Potted cactuses all around his room
And bowls of raisins
I’m all alone tonight, and I feel forlorn
In some dark corner
A little to the left, yeah, you’re getting warm
You’re getting warmer
Another wave of joy rolling out to sea
Off in the distance
A sad, lonely boy is all that’s left of me
Cut off from existence
Lord if there’s a way to feel less alone
Short of collapsin’
Tell me what it is and maybe then I’ll go
And take some action
You Don’t Wanna Know Him Any Better Than You Already Do
(Magnuson)
He’s just like anybody else
He likes good folks, good fun, good food
Trust me, you don’t wanna know him any better than you already do
He's got his funny side
And he has his share of moods
Trust me, you don’t wanna know him any better than you already do
He seems like such a mellow cat
I wouldn’t be so sure of that
Though I can see how it might look that way to you
Some of what you’ve heard is false
And some of it is true
Trust me, you don’t wanna know him any better than you already do
There’s just one person in this world he loves
And it ain’t you
Trust me, you don’t wanna know him any better than you already do
He’s friendly when he needs to be
Otherwise, he’s cold and blue
Trust me, you don’t wanna know him any better than you already do
Grace and charm my foot
He’d almost always rather put
You in your place and keep you stuck down there for good
Talk to his old girlfriends
Or some other folks he knew
Or trust me, you don’t wanna know him any better than you already do
Once I tried to be his friend
I won’t make that mistake again
It did not take long to pick up on the clues
Maybe this is only sour grapes
Both ripe and new
Trust me, you don’t wanna know him any better than you already do
Waiting For The Water To Recede
(Magnuson)
The river’s heading your way, according to reports
And there are few if any escapes
I guess that means you’re never gonna have your day in court
The curtain’s falling down with all the drapes
And you drink when you you’re dry
But that mud in your eye
Makes you look just like a friend in need
Walking on the water, wading in the water
Waiting for the water to recede
You really oughta start to swim now before the tide
Swallows you up whole then looks for more
Even if it means you’re gonna bruise your tender hide
A-kickin’ and a-slappin’ at the floor
Maybe you should try to find a place that’s high and dry
Or maybe you should grow some fins and gills
I know how bad you want to figure out a reason why
And I also know you never will
Neither Of Us Ever Leaves
(Magnuson)
When I’m weak you’re all I’ll ever need
Then I think I’m strong and all I’ll ever need is me
You’re gone and I just don’t know what to do
You’re here and I’ll do anything to get away from you
Why do you have to be so much like me?
There’s so many things that you’d be better off to be
Your smile turns this house into a home
But for heaven’s sake, can’t you please just once leave me alone?
Through all the storms and other nasty weather
You’re here to keep me warm and rake the leaves
But it really ain’t so much that we stay together
It’s more like neither of us ever leaves
Don’t leave me, I can’t live without you
You’re keeping me from everything I really want to do
Sure, I know I’d cry one thousand tears
If I were to lose you, but right now you are right here
The Blues I’ve Always Had
(Magnuson)
All good things they must come to an end
But it seems the bad things just keep on happenin’
And life is short, but let me tell you what
Life may well be short but not nearly short enough
Life would be so good
If it weren’t so bad
I used to think someday I would
Find some way to erase the blues that I’ve always had
I can gaze out on an ocean view
And think about so little time and so much to do
But today when I got up for day 4,039
At that factory, there seemed to be a lot of time
Last night in my head, Worse came to Worse
And he didn’t recognize himself, he just burped and cursed
Before I bought them both a beer, I drank one first
Boy, these blues sure do produce one mean and nasty thirst
The Curb To Which I Have Been Kicked
(Magnuson)
I was doing fine
For the most part, unperturbed
Somebody seemed to love me
But then they kicked me to the curb
They seemed to really care
But like the weather, they just turned
They showed me the door
And then they kicked me to the curb
Heart broken, heart attacked
By an Arnold comma Benedict
Heart left here to die
On this curb to which I have been kicked
Blindsided by betrayal
Broken, brick by brick
A bug’s eye view of my own blood
On this curb to which I have been kicked
I’ve written my obit
I can recite it word for word
It reads, “In lieu of flowers,
Avengement of my death preferred”
And that headstone I designed
That’s laid out in my will
It will never mark my grave
This curb is all that will
The curb to which I have been kicked
Is on a busy road
Tires crushing fingers
Exhaust straight up my nose
I’ve had a broken heart before
And it hurts like hell, for sure
But there’s a special kind of pain reserved
For when you get kicked to the curb
The Farther Away I Get From You
(Magnuson)
The farther away I get from you
The closer I get to relief
The less time I spend thinking of you
The lighter the proverbial leaf
Turn, turn it over
And finally discover
Ways to regain what you stole
The farther away I get from you
The more I recapture my soul
The farther away I get from you
The freer I am from myself
The fewer the symptoms of you
The more I am nursed back to health
Give pause and take action
Addition, subtraction
Proof once again less is more
The farther away I get from you
The less of it I must endure
The farther away I get from you
The clearer your essence becomes
If I see someone looks like you
My mind no longer hightails it and runs
I made it somehow
No need to run now
I’m almost sufficiently far
The farther away I get from you
The better I know where you are
Ain’t Afraid
(Magnuson)
Sit back and watch the time
Erase the symbols and the signs
And lines you drew to chart your bumpy ride
To stay that rising course
Would have required true grit and force
You’re not afraid of little hard work
You’re terrified
I could’ve sworn the sun
Was shining bright at half-past one
But light of day has turned to dead of night
With every step I take
I could make the costliest mistake
I ain’t afraid of the dark
I’m terrified
The wolf is at the door
Huff and puff and scream and snort
Blow the House and senators aside
Bar the door and pray
Think of ways to get away
I ain’t afraid of the big bad wolf
I’m terrified
Play hard and give your all
But if you fail to win, you fall
Into a gaping hole inside your pride
Slowly fade and then
Never seen nor heard again
You ain’t afraid to lose the game
You’re terrified
Face each day of the year
And never face a single fear
Buried in your soul, down deep inside
The only thing you have to fear
Is everything you see and hear
You aren’t afraid of fear itselfYou’re terrified
The Arbiter of Morality
(Magnuson)
The Arbiter of Morality
Is just an angry girl
And we are just swine on whom she drops
Her precious wisdom pearls
The towering heights of right on which
She’s perched would frighten me
I wish I could be as pure as the
Arbiter of Morality
How hopeless we’d be without the
Arbiter of Morality
We wouldn’t know right from wrong
Without her wise authority
We’ll all be fine as long as we
Do things with which she’ll agree
How grateful we all should be for the
Arbiter of Morality
She has insight that I could not
Begin to emulate
Sometimes I just sit back and watch
As she deftly arbitrates
Look on in awe as she decides
Who’s worthy of respect
Among the assemblage of the ones she
Coaxes and collects
We gather and then we wait, and when
The Arbiter arrives
None of us say hello to her
But one of us cries out “All rise!”
We all stand at attention and
Mind our Qs and Ps
Hoping just once to appease
The Arbiter of Morality
Like A Diamond In A Pie
(Magnuson/Crumb)
I breathe the orange blossom breezes
I hear the nightingale sing
I see a star on the horizon
And the promise that it can bring
Heavens’ wonders clear now
The moon’s glow fills the sky
But you shine even brighter
Like a diamond in a pie
I skip all through the forest
New hope is in my hands
There is a love in my heart
Beauty covers all the lands
I wade through the wildflowers
Taste the clover I come by
But your love’s even sweeter
Like a diamond in a pie
I’ve always looked to the tree tops
To the wind I’ve whispered your name
For you, for so long I’ve waited
And to me you finally came
A treat to truly savor
A prize twinklin’ in my eye
A treasure better than any other
Like a diamond in a pie
She’s Got A Little Johnny In Her Hands
(Magnuson)
She’s got a little Johnny in her hands
She’s got about 300 little pins
She does her little demon voodoo dance
And punctures little Johnny’s leather skin
Eventually the real John feels the pain
She just keeps on doling out the pain
Stab and rip and stab and rip again
She’s got a little Johnny in her hands
“Even the doll is ugly,” she complains
She takes him to a stove, and there he stands
Big John’s feet are frying up in flames
Then the doll’s plunged under H2O
Big John’s feet charred from heel to toe
And now it’s hard to breathe for our hero
She’s got little Johnny in her hands
Dressed in Barbie blouse, GI Joe pants
She takes it to a mountainside in France
And kicks some snow to start an avalanche
Little John gets lost among the ruins
The real John disappears that afternoon
She’ll have a little you in her hands soon
Sins of Cowardice
(Magnuson/Crumb)
I can live with all the holes
I’ve made in this leaky boat
I row with all my might
Just to stay afloat
I know I’ll be forgiven
For shots I took in vain
Bullets that were wrong
Fired with the right aim
And I will always regret
That which makes me so powerless
The worst crimes that I’ve committed
Are my sins of cowardice
I wandered off the path
I gave myself a way
Searching for a way to live
To live with all the gray
I broke a solemn vow
But I don’t hang my head in shame
I finally saw the light
I saw the light and you’re the flame
I wish I could rear the rose
That grows from our two souls
Fear must keep its watchful place
At the heart’s controls
The rose in time will fade
To a bleached-out shade of red
Pressed between the pages
Of a book we never read
Heading For A Fall
(Magnuson)
If only my thoughts could meld like the branches in the sky
Above this rushing river tainted by some tears I’ve cried
If only my thoughts could harmonize with all the gentle sighs
Murmured by the river as the riverbank rolls by
Making my time worthwhile these days seems like such a chore
I let my time slip by these days right on out through the door
Taking the time to think these days just leads to thinking more
As time flows like the stream that just stole my remaining oar
I turn my ear to hear that the river’s louder now
I can only guess that up ahead it’s crashing down
I still feel the sun although it’s slipped behind a cloud
At rest, I ride the tide that is the only way I’ve found
Barely Noticeable
(Magnuson)
Not dead but just the same
I may as well not have a name
For some, it's sad
For me, it brings no shame
No force attracts me like the pull
Of being barely noticeable
To win and lose
And yet not play the game
Nothing liberates my soul
Like being barely visible
They sense that I'm around
But can't be reached
Forever in a state
Of falling forward on my face
After tripping over
Halts to which I've screeched
There is no place beyond
The utter joy of being gone
While still lurking near
The field of play
In the thoughts of just a few
Maybe on a mind or two
But out of everybody
Else's way
Someday they'll find me dead
Just like that guy from off the internet
Who never did exist
Not unlike me
Mostly void and null
Barely noticeable
The less within their reach
The more I'm free
Out On A Limb
(Magnuson/Crumb)
We didn’t know we were searching
When our souls found their match
We thought they were already whole
But it turns out they’re just patched
Wary like a fledgling bird
We want to try our new wings
But we’re afraid of the danger
The departure would bring
Dreams of falling led me out on a limb
Fears of falling led me out on a ledge
Do I hang on to all the branches I know?
Or do I blindly believe and step off the edge?
Maybe we’re safe here
There’s no need to stray
In our homes we know so well
On solid ground we'll stay
You and I cannot fly
With this hole in our heart
Must our journey end
Before it was able to start?
Dreams of falling led me out on a limb
Fears of falling led me out on a ledge
Do I hang on to all the branches I know?
Or do I blindly believe and step off the edge?
Is our love forever
Just a bit out of reach?
Do we jump to our death?
Or do we soar heavenly?
Whatever You Choose To Believe
(Magnuson)
The price of really saying
How you feel is not worth paying
Despite how it can buy you
What you really, really want
So you stay essentially silent
And equip your harmless island
With items that are useful and can be relied upon
The rich control the weather
This chair is not real leather
There's nothing up the ruling party's sleeve
We're all in this together
I'll live with whatever
You choose to believe
Ghosts hear your repartee
They hang on every word you say
Living, breathing ghosts locked down in prisons that they haunt
That's all they do, is listen
And they know so much is missing
It's straight from day to night to day, without a dusk or dawn
Spaceships in the desert
Way too small to measure
Strange creatures we will meet on Christmas Eve
We're all in this together
I'll live with whatever
You choose to believe
Whatever you may tell them
In all likelihood won't help them
Just give them ammunition for more scrutiny and taunt
So parts of you remain
While others go, against the grain
You seem to have departed and will stay completely gone
Our fate depends on whether
All this empty pleasure
Is all that's left out there to be received
We're all in this together
I'll live with whatever
You choose to believe
Did You Ever Really Go?
(Magnuson)
Well I know you said goodbye
But did you ever really go?
And I know that you're not here no more
But did you ever really go?
That song is still playing that was on the radio
When I peeked past my paper at you standing by the door
You slammed it and the windows crashed and the same cold winds still blow
Oh but I don't know
Did you ever really go?
I don't see you at church no more
But did you ever really go?
And I know you felt like hell
But did you ever really go?
I get mad, I say things in a voice that I don't know
Devil cats get my tongue and twist it up in crooked bows
When I said "Go to hell" I didn't think you'd really go
Oh but I don't know
Did you ever really go?
I went walking through the cemetery
Looking at the names on stones
And I didn't see your name engraved
Did you ever really go?
In bed at night I swear I see drifting eyes that glow
But when I turn on the light, I am bare naked and alone
If I were sure that you're not here, then I'd beg you to come home
Oh but I don't know
Did you ever really go?
I Can’t Leave Well Enough Alone
(Magnuson)
What kind of cruel game does destiny play
To show me the sun when the skies aren't gray
And even the clouds that I do sometimes see
Aren't really so troubling to me
Why send me one who can comfort and cure
And then send another that seems even truer
Destiny, I wish you just would've gone
And left well enough alone
Now I have to live with the truth that hurts so
If I left well enough, as if I could go
I might find a soul that is even more true
But I guess well enough will do
I can't leave well enough alone
I can't break her heart, or I guess I won't
I never will reap what I never have sown
And I can't leave well enough alone
As Do I
(Magnuson/Crumb)
You fear the uncertain tomorrow
You keep fires buried below
You continue to put on a show
As do I
You wander around so confused
You despair over all you could lose
You still light matches close to the fuse
As do I
You wish we had met long ago
You struggle with what you now know
You keep thinking of that smoldering glow
As do I
You worry your heart’s gone astray
You hope that this new light will stay
You tell yourself there must be a way
As do I
You know now where our hearts belong
You carry the torch in your song
You wonder how love can be wrong
As do I
A Bitter Man Than I
(Magnuson)
He didn’t relent when tensions rose
He could’ve withdrawn, instead he chose
To stand up and fight, absorb the blows
He’s a bitter man than I
He isn’t a monster deep inside
But temperatures rise, then don’t subside
The truth hurts, and so he lied
He’s a bitter man than I
Ties either bind
Or just unwind
He’s losin’ it all, his wife, his mind
Tearing up documents he signed
Dimming the lights that used to shine
He’s a bitter man than I
Liquor’s the chicken and the egg
It cost him his soul, an arm, a leg
Follow the liter, fall, renege
He’s a bitter man than I
It seems to ease
But just deceives
It started to fall so long ago
Domino after domino
If you had to face what he’s been through
You’d be bitter too
Whatever don't kill ya makes ya strong
He kept telling himself that all along
Only to find it’s just plain wrong
He's a bitter man than I
Restrained
(Magnuson/Crumb)
The sky calls out the loudest
To those who have clipped wings
Guitar rings out the proudest
With tension on its strings
The words mean so much more
When you keep 'em to a limit
Seconds are most savored
When you only got a minute
Where the current is restrained
The river overflows
Wider and higher
In the forest of hidden desires
Burn the brightest fires
Restrained
A lover’s face is clearer
Right before she says goodbye
The stars can better lead us
In the deepest darkest sky
The sun is always warmest
To those stuck in the cold
The happiest endings are those
In stories not yet told
Holding back
Restrained
Nothing can be lost
Nothing can be gained
Holding back
Restrained
Nothing can be lost
Nothing can be gained
Crumbs taste so much sweeter
To those with hunger pain
We thirst most for water
When it’s going down the drain
The urge to breathe is greater
When you gotta hold it in
And love is all the stronger
When it’s doomed from the beginning
I Don’t Mind If I Do
(Magnuson)
Another gin and tonic
And I'll die from it
I made my pool of vomit
So I'll lie in it
Can't stand the thought of whiskey now
And wine won't do
But a beer?
I don't mind if I do
Wine's a snooty mother
Gin is medicine
Whiskey is the devil
But beer is just a friend
The others taint my liver
And leave me cold and pale
But if there was a river of
Beer, I would set sail
A stream where troubled waters
Can calm a troubled man
I'd clean with sponge and blotters
And wring 'em into cans
Taketh from the river and
Giveth back in tow
As the course delivers me
To where I'm bound to go
Lead, beer, and I'll follow
I've nothing else to do
With every happy swallow
I'll drink a toast to you
If I don't make it home
I still know I'll make it through
I don't mind if I don't
And I don't mind if I do
Only In Dreams
(Magnuson/Crumb)
I will sit with you
Under shady trees
And I will stroke your hair
But only in my dreams…
I'll dance this waltz with you
We'll keep a perfect beat
Our feet won't touch the ground
But only in my dreams…
I will hold your hand
I will kiss your cheek
I will watch you sleep
But only in my dreams…
I will make a pledge
I'll get down on one knee
I'll give you my hand
But only in my dreams…
I’ll be forever yours
Forever mine you’ll be
We’ll live so happily
But only in my dreams…
Only in dreams
Will you be mine
Only in dreams
Can I spend my time
Only in dreams
Can I spend my time